Super Bowl party breakdown

It's the Super Bowl. In Miami. There are a few parties.

Here's what is left on the slate between now and Sunday. Attend 10 parties, get one free liver!

Friday
Usher The 411: This is a free concert. Which is appropriate, because Usher didn't pay for Michael Jackson's act.

Hard Rock International's Rock 'N Soul Party
The 411: Drew Rosenhaus hosts this event alongside Tommie Harris, Chad Ochocinco, Terrell Owens, Willis McGahee, Santana Moss and Zach Thomas. You have to pay for admission. But Drew Rosenhaus suggests you hold out until you get the price you want.

Pepsi Musica Super Bowl Fan Jam The 411: Nelly Furtado, Paulina Rubio and Pitbull will perform at this event, which will be hosted by Telemundo stars. Do you dare enter this tierra de pasiones?

Leather and Laces Party
The 411: Kim Kardashian, Roselyn Sanchez and Holly Madison will host. Cirque USA will perform. Ray J likely will not.

Super Bowl Gospel Celebration
The 411: Donnie McClurkin, BeBe and CeCe Winans and Canton Jones will perform. You'll have to wait until Sunday night to see Tim and Pam Tebow.

Celebrity Bowl-a-Thon
The 411: It's Detroit. Jerome Bettis is from Detroit.

Ditka's Gridiron Night of Champions
The 411: Mike Ditka will host, but Jamie Foxx will be featured. Seems like an odd combo. But Foxx worked well with Tom Cruise in "Collateral," and Cruise almost had Ditka's exact hairdo in that movie.

Five Star Players Party The 411: Santana Moss hosts this party promoted as featuring "NFL stars, entertainers and celebrities." I hope Moss is the only Redskins player there, else "NFL stars" would be false advertising.

Saturday
Jamie Moyer, Mario Batali Super Brunch
The 411: Mario Batali will design a gourmet brunch, and celebrities Jimmy Fallon, Jimmy Buffett and Emeril Lagasse will appear. How Jamie Moyer is associated I do not know. I thought men his age woke up to eat way before brunch.

Smocks & Jocks Jazz Brunch
The 411: Featuring an auction of artwork by former and current NFL stars. Stick around and maybe you'll see someone draw up a winning play.

Black Eyed Peas concert
The 411: Featuring Miami Dolphins part-owner Fergie! I'll go … but ONLY if Tom Benson and Jim Irsay perform, too. "My lumps, my lumps, my lovely old man lumps."

Lingerie Bowl VII
The 411: Wait … the Lingerie Bowl is one day after the playoffs end? It's almost as if this isn't a real sport. I hope these girls can find someone willing to massage them between games.

Super Bowl Saturday Night
The 411: Slated to perform: O.A.R., Barenaked Ladies and Robert Randolph and the Family Band. There also will be fireworks.

Taste of the NFL
The 411: Slated to perform: Barenaked Ladies. So the fireworks at Super Bowl Saturday Night will be from the Barenaked Ladies' car backfiring as they head to their next gig.

Sean Paul concert
The 411: "Temperature" chorus lyrics:
Well woman the way the time cold I wanna be keepin' you warm
I got the right temperature for shelter you from the storm
Oh lord, gal I got the right tactics to turn you on, and girl I ...
Wanna be the Papa ... You can be the Mom ... oh oh!
Fun fact: These are the exact words Archie Manning used to woo his wife, Olivia. (Maybe. I can't really confirm that.)

Penthouse Magazine Super Party The 411: Penthouse 2010 Pet of the Year Taylor Vixen is slated to appear at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino. Also slated to appear: a lot of bad jokes about "Seminole," "Hard" and "Rock."

Celebrity Flag Football Game The 411: I can't find which NFL players are scheduled to participate. But I think we can assume Tom Brady would be up for a game like this.

Dane Cook concert The 411: This is one event Jamie Foxx is not scheduled to attend. But you still might hear some of his jokes.

NFL Alumni Sporting Clays Team Challenge
The 411: Current and former NFL players will serve as celebrity captains during this sporting clays contest. Yes, that's right, lots of NFL players being photographed around guns. Does Roger Goodell know about this event?

Spectacular Super Bowl Party
The 411: This event will feature a poker tournament and will be hosted by Jim Carrey and Jenny McCarthy. The perfect party if you enjoy things that were much more popular a few years ago.

Jamie Foxx & Friends Bud Bowl Party
The 411: Jamie Foxx again, ladies and gentlemen! The extra X in "Foxx" is for the line on contracts he signs to make as much money as possible.

(espn.com)